Friends and the Way We Were Raised

I do believe I have a lot of friends and acquaintances. I still keep in touch with my school, college, work and clubbing friends even after I moved to the US. There is a difference though between friends and acquaintances. I can talk about anything with my friends but not to acquaintances. I will defend my friends if someone starts bad-mouthing them and I will tell them what they need to hear, which dont necessarily mean what they want to hear, when asked for opinion. I think that's what a friend's for, right? I may sound harsh but usually when you're in some kind of situation, (in love for example) you tend to be blind. Yes, its easier said than done but in most situation it is actually the truth. What they decide to do is up to them but Iv done my part as a friend and will always love them. But stab or lie to me and you no longer are my friend. Well, that's just me. I may be able to forgive them but I will never forget. And that's how I will be.

Friends will always be there for you when you need them not just when they need you and will never ever put you in a danger. You should always know and select the friends that you're hanging out with. Just because you know that person for years or even grew up with them, doesnt necessarily mean they're good for you nor justify why you should still be "friends".

The world that we're living now is not like what it used to be. Not to mention the so-called "peer-pressure". Why is it that people nowadays like to use the word "peer-pressure" anyway? Why do some people think that being popular or famous or rich give them the right to belittle others? And why do others feel like they "must" follow suit? How many times have we heard on the news about school children going berserk or even killed? The recent one is of course the VA-Tech massacre. (My heart and prayers to all the victims and their families).

I know its almost impossible to know what people are going to do or how they're going to react or even worse, retaliate to what you did to them. And that's why its first and foremost, up to the parents to teach the kids to be responsible for their actions. Make it known to them that actions=responsibilities. If you know your kids are lying to you and keep on lying to your face when you know they're lying, do something about it for goodness sake! And I dont mean just, "no tv for a week" kinda thing.

You may find it "funny" for me to talk about this topic since we ourselves dont have any kids yet. I believe that you dont need to have 1 before you can talk about it just like when my friends asked for my opinion about their marriages when I was not even seeing anybody. I admit that when I see/hear things like that, Id immediately think of how my parents would react or what kind of punishment I would get from them. I may have been a pretty good kid when I was young but I was really stubborn. I never cut class or made noices in-between classes. During my primary school time at SRk(2) Bt 4, Jln Ipoh, KL (equivalent to grade school) my Math & English teacher always use my name as an example to the other kids. Im not being vain here. I never felt proud because of that. To me, I just didnt see any reason why I should be making noices when I can do my math questions. Do you? Not to mention the determination to do better in school than my 2 older brothers. I never thought about being popular although I have a few friends who'd follow me around wherever I go. lol!

Well, being a girl, my parents never slapped nor kicked me. But my mom always pinched me (yes it hurts) and once found my mouth "kissing" the red hot chili just because I talked back to her and insisted on going to the public library in the city with my friends. I was maybe 11-12 yrs old then. Of course I was sad then but I learned my lesson. Never ever talk back to your parents and no means no. In Asian culture, talking back to your parents and elders is a no-no thing. Its considered very rude.

Back to the horror stories in schools (not just in VA Tech), I think its time everybody accept the fact that most of the times, it happens after a long series or harassment by the other "superior" group of people. While most survive the mental (and physical) torture, there are some who dont and until and unless we stop this so called "popularity" mentality, we are going to have more violence in the future.

In the meantime, talk to your friends and keep them closer. Be a FRIEND.