News from Home

I come from a big family. At least that's what Michael says. Eventhough I only have 3 brothers (2 older and 1 younger) but both my older brothers (Fahrin & Nizam) have 4 kids (7 girls/1boy) and my younger brother (Rizal) has a triplet (2boys/1girl) and the wife is due with the fourth one (most likely a boy) sometime next month. I think wht makes me have a big family is because of the extended ones, aunties, uncles, counsins and their children. So basically I do have a big family and Im close to almost all of them. ;)

2 weeks ago I sent a couple of dolls to my eldest brother's kids and after making sure that they have received them, I decided to give my sis-in-law (Siti) in Kuantan a call. It was good to hear fr my nieces, my aunt (who happens to be there too) and her. After talking for a while, she mentioned that she spoke to my dad earlier in the day. And the news is not good. Besides high blood pressure, my dad broke his spine when he fell while avoiding a motorcyclist in 2005. Even after the surgery his back never really healed. He now can only walk a short distance and even then he has to use a cane. Then, last raya, he got a minor stroke after accidentally eating dodol durian. (he didn kno it has durian in it). Siti said his speech has deteriorate and its getting harder to understand him. He is also getting forgetful.

That is just the kind of news thats hard to hear when you, as the child, are living abroad, far away from home. On top of that, Rizal who is with TUDM is being transferred to Kuching end of this month. Rizal and I have always lived with our parents and after I moved to the US, he and his wife, Fara have been looking after our parents. Now that they're moving to Kuching, Im worried about my mom and dad. Eventhough my mom is, alhamdulillah, healthy, she's not young anymore. With my dad being ill and frail, looking after him is no easy task.

I feel guilty. I feel like iv failed in my task in being a good daughter. After I finished school, I promise myself that Im going to look after my parents when they retire. But Allah has another plan for me and here i am in the US, away from home and my parents. Its not any easier either when all my moms side of the family are in Kuching and my dad's in JB except for 1 aunt (Ende Li) who lives in Kajang. All my aunts, uncles and cousins fr JB visit them often but Ende Li and family, being the closest, always came over. Even Fahrin and family from Kuantan often visit especially after the arrival of the triplet. ;)

There's nothing that I want more now than to be able to go home.